Should I go or should I stay?

2026-03-23 - 23:30

“I wonder — should I go or should I stay?” Engelbert Humperdinck sang it like a passing thought. But in real life, it tends to linger. For many professionals, that question does not arrive only in the middle of a career. It can appear at the very beginning and sometimes return — unexpectedly and repeatedly. We all know someone like this. Capable, thoughtful, clearly talented, yet still in a role that no longer quite fits. From the outside, it can seem quite puzzling — why stay? This is not about those who find fulfilment and meaning in staying — it is about the moment something shifts, when a role no longer fits, and the question that follows. It is tempting to assume that people move when something stops making sense. But psychology suggests the decision is rarely that straightforward and has little to do with confidence or intelligence. Behavioural research points to loss aversion — our tendency to weigh potential losses more heavily than equivalent gains. A steady salary, familiar systems and surroundings, professional identity and accumulated credibility are not easily replaced. Over time work becomes more than just a job. It becomes structure, identity and a way of measuring progress. The longer someone stays, the harder it is to separate who they are from what they do. Leaving a job is not just a forward move; it is also a letting go. Walking away can feel less like a career decision and more like dismantling something carefully built. At some point, something has to give. In Malaysia, the instinct to stay is often reinforced. Stability is associated with responsibility. A consistent career signals reliability, not just to employers, but to family. Financial commitments, social expectations and the pressure to “be steady” all tend to influence the decision. And yet, we see some making different choices. Equally capable professionals who step away from established paths to start again, sometimes without a clear plan, or guaranteed success. What separates them? Often, it is their relationship with uncertainty — how they interpret risk. Research on career transitions finds that those who pivot are not necessarily more confident or intelligent than the other but are more willing to move without full clarity. They view uncertainty differently. Where some see instability, others see possibility. The difference is subtle, but it determines where we land. One group sees leaving as the risk. The other sees staying as the risk. Neither is inherently right. Stability can be as meaningful and necessary as reinvention. But every now and then, the question returns. “I wonder, should I go or should I stay?” Sometimes the answer has very little to do with confidence or intelligence — and everything to do with how we choose to face the unknown. The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.