Are you a ‘morning lark’ in bed with a ‘night owl’?

2026-03-13 - 00:04

Many couples experience ‘chronotype mismatch’ – when partners have naturally different body clocks that determine when they feel most alert or sleepy. (Envato Elements pic) PETALING JAYA: As couples argue about bedtime routines – one ready to sleep at 10pm, the other scrolling on their phone past midnight – the issue may not simply be habit or preference. According to sleep researchers, it could be biology. Experts say many couples experience what is known as a “chronotype mismatch” – when partners have naturally different body clocks that determine when they feel most alert or sleepy. While it may sound trivial, this can quietly affect sleep quality, mood, and even relationship satisfaction. On World Sleep Day today, health experts are urging couples to pay closer attention to how their sleep patterns interact. Why some couples struggle with sleep timing Every person has a chronotype, which refers to their body’s natural sleep-wake preference. Some people are “morning larks”, naturally waking early and feeling most productive during the day. Others are “night owls”, who feel more alert late at night and prefer to wake up later. These patterns are driven by the body’s circadian rhythm – a roughly 24-hour internal clock regulated by hormones such as melatonin and cortisol. But trouble arises when partners operate on different schedules. One partner may feel ready for bed at 10pm, while the other is most alert late into the night. Over time, this mismatch can affect daily routines, shared activities, and the amount of time couples spend together. Studies show that couples who sleep poorly are more likely to experience irritability, misunderstandings and reduced emotional connection. Sleep deprivation can also affect libido and intimacy. In other words, something as simple as a disrupted sleep schedule can have ripple effects on a relationship. “If you’re sleeping worse because your partner’s body clock runs differently from yours, it can create a cycle of fatigue and irritability,” experts note. Over time, this can make couples feel emotionally distant without realising the root cause. Sleep is not just a personal health matter – it can also shape how partners communicate, connect, and support each other. (Envato Elements pic) Research suggests that a large number of couples go to bed at different times. In some surveys, three-quarters of couples report mismatched bedtimes, and many say it occasionally leads to disagreements. Modern lifestyles may be making the problem more common. Late-night screen use, shift work and irregular schedules can disrupt natural sleep rhythms. In Malaysia, specialists have increasingly warned about the impact of sleep deprivation and poor sleep hygiene, particularly among urban professionals who juggle long working hours and late-night digital habits. Indeed, many Malaysians get less than the recommended seven to nine hours of sleep, with technology use before bedtime among the major contributing factors. The good news is that mismatched body clocks do not automatically spell trouble for relationships. Experts say couples who recognise their differences can often find simple ways to adjust. Strategies include: creating a shared evening routine before one partner goes to bed; scheduling “together time” earlier in the evening; reducing late-night screen use; respecting each other’s sleep schedules. Even small changes can help both partners feel more rested and connected. Ultimately, sleep is not just a personal health matter – it can also shape how partners communicate, connect, and support each other. Understanding one’s natural sleep rhythm may be a simple but powerful step towards improving both well-being and relationships.